Wish I could Speak my Mind

Drama belongs in the courtroom. In a fantastic movie with suspense and thrills and exciting or heavy climaxes. In plays by Shakespeare. In the theatre downtown. In a great fictional novel.



Simplicity is all I crave and ultimately ask for. In life. In love. In fun. In my home.



Yet drama seems to seek me out. When will it learn that I am a no good actress and I plan to just stick to my day job? From this moment on, I crush it in my strong little hands. Ignore those who seek to hurt me. Keep those who claim to just be. Embrace laughter and learning. Keep watching great movies for a dose of the dramas, ones I don't have to deal with personally.

My bathing suit smells like sunshine, and other pointless quirps.

While putting away clothes today, I found a Roxy rashguard Tee. I smelled it. It was scented like sunshine and beach! Maybe even a hint of Hawaii lingering. I havn't ever washed it afterall. Makes me wish summer came and was still here rather than this stupid cool rainy day. Could be worse, could be snowing. But nonetheless, multi days in a row of clouds makes my vitamin D drop.

Pathetic girl! Control yourself!! and stop being shy! It's strange considering I have the "it doesn't hurt to ask" attitude, the worst that could happen is No and nothing changes. Make friends, go out, throw kick ass parties. I know, I'll join the ski club. Seems thats where all the cool crazy kids are these days (at University anyway)

This, my friends, is procrastination. I should be utilizing my time while the boy is out and the puppy is asleep to tackle some biology reading. Thank god I am going to a procrastination mini class at the U sometime soon. It's not that I am not interested. Maybe just bored.

The best part of working completely alone in the lab is..................playing heavy metal/hard rock/songs that say fuck with no worries of offending people. Few that I work with like my kind of music so it was always putting up with lite 96 or whatever and listening to the same playlist over and over and over. If I hear that Katy Perry California Girls song again, I might throw something (or just turn off the radio, which seems more logical).

Ok Done.

Quote of the day:
"Biding my time, until the time is right" -CT

I like the way I think (and other thoughts on University)

A university student! At last!
Attended orientation this week. For the purpose of not getting lost (still am in the twisted hallways), learning how to be a student (most questions answered, still have some burning within), make friends (nope), and have fun (seXXXy -a play- was great fun).

In a conversation about intelligence at school, a friend revealed that "Intelligence is no longer a pre-requisite for University". Based on overheard conversations and general observations, this may be true! Granted I was surrounded by clueless (and logic-less) first year students, of whom 80% were under 20 years of age it seemed. But alas! Why is this the case? Regardless of age, life experwaaaaait. Age, life and work experience, and a knowledge of living on ones' own all combine to some form of rite of passage into wisdom. At 28, I hope this is the case. Needless to say, it felt as though I scared away the couple of people who attempted conversations with me on the pure fact that I've been to technical college, that I live on my own, that I am a mom. I hope all fellow students arn't like this next week.

Ah next week. When the population at the school swells to around 25,000. Maybe it is here that I will have luck finding people with heads on their shoulders and actual ambition. Another friend mentioned some of the "kids" are there on daddies dollar and could care less. Although the school is relatively competative to get accecpted into, some students are just doing it for mom and dad. These are the types I must avoid or I will go crazy.

So who am I looking for as potential buddies? I think those with actual interest in psychology, sociology and philosophy. Maybe even Biology/science range students.
I am not saying that people in business school, engineering (then again, they are apparently the funnest group), nurses, graduate, and fine arts are not smart. They just hold a different perspective on life and thinking. Kinda boring in some ways.

So here is to a good year of being academic and studious, meeting new (my kind of people) friends, having a drink or two at the pub, checking out a show and getting involved with the school. I am going to Univeristy to ultimately get a high GPA degree and advance into Medical School. and why? Because I am that good!

Laptops for School???

This is the line that got me:

"Mikaela, who is entering Grade 8, says it would be a big boost for her schoolwork and save her from carrying heavy binders to class."

Really? That's why they want a laptop? Oh the binders are too heavy. oh. Bullshit I say. Our kids are just hooked and if they have a laptop in school, well on come MSN and Facebook. Are they really typing all their notes and assignments during class. Honestly I would find a class of typers annoying when trying to listen to my teacher. So is it worth it forking over $600 + for your kid to have a laptop in school? No, I'd rather spend the $50 on binders and notebooks for the kids. Uh I mean notebooks with actual paper that is. So suck it up princesses and little men, carry those books or store them in the locker when not needed! That's what I had to do, as did your parents, ect.

Look at it this way, my son, age 11, is bugging me to get him an IPOD Touch. Those things run at around $200. I can't even really afford to get one for myself. And quite honestly, at my age, and the fact I know more songs, I should be the first one getting an IPOD touch.

On the flip side, I agree with computer for students with learning disabilities. My son recieved a Mac laptop. Nice one. But it was primarily for schoolwork as he has difficulties with handwriting. I hear that they now have voice recording laptops that a person with LD can speak into the computer and it will type the story. Great idea! My son thinks faster than he can write/type so this would be an excellent tool for him. Technology does have its benefits.

I burnt my toast again!

Maybe I did this to myself. Failed to deal with issues before they could emerge and eat me up. I hide behind my face. I hide behind everything I do (and I do more than I should). I create tainted beauty to avoid something. What am I trying to prove? Why do I make mistakes? Act on impulse? Fail to see the light? I lead a life of lonliness yet fail to feel lonely. This is a dark place. and I'm scared. But I just want to be left alone. getting by is what I do best.

My current Playlist:

Hurt- NIN
High and Dry- Radiohead
Mad World- Gary Jules
Danger- Keep away- Slipknot
Something I can never have- NIN
Everyday is exactly the same- NIN
Blackout- Muse
We Never Change- Coldplay
Hate this and I'll Love you- Muse
My Immortal- Evanescence
Simple Kind of Life- No Doubt
Clumsy- OLP
Paranoid Android- Radiohead
Time to Say Goodbye- Sarah Brightman and Andrea Bocceli
Comfortably Numb- Pink Floyd
Patience- Guns and Roses
Uninvited- Alanis Morissette
Forget It- Breaking Benjamin
Ruled by Secrecy- Muse
Details in the Fabric- Jason Mraz